Spreadsheets is a mobile app that monitors your performance in bed to provide statistical and historical feedback. Find out how many thrusts per minute you’re averaging, how long you go for, and exactly how loud it gets. Keep a record of your encounters, date, time, and performance.
Spreadsheets monitors data from user’s movement and audio levels through the accelerometer and microphone to provide statistical and visual analysis of their performance in bed.
Spreadsheets does not record or playback audio or video. That would be creepy.
Spreadsheets data is stored securely on your mobile device. Your information is never relayed, backed up, or synced to the internet.
Only the people you share it with. Share it with your doctor if you’re trying to get pregnant. Share it with your nutritionist since you’re burning calories. Share it with your friends and let the facts speak for themselves.
Less than a condom, unless it’s a free condom. Spreadsheets costs $1.99 and is available for purchase in the iTunes App Store. If you have to choose between the two, we recommend you splurge on the condom.
Let’s be serious, your mom might not appreciate knowing (or not knowing) that you’re having sex. We’re doing you a solid here.
We do not recommend using Spreadsheets without a partner. This is a team effort; your partner will support your commitment to improving sexual activity through performance tracking.
Spreadsheets isn’t a major life decision, but should probably be discussed with your partner. If you’re over the age of 25 or at serious risk of heart failure, you should consult a physician before extensive use of the Spreadsheets app.
No, Spreadsheets is not an escort service. It is also not a great pickup line, or maybe it is; in which case you should tell us your success story on our Facebook page or Twitter feed.
Spreadsheets can be used: in bed, in the car, on the couch, in your pocket, on a trampoline, in a hammock (both traditional and banana), at the club, at your in-laws, in a tent, the world is your playground… or your science lab.
We do not recommend using Spreadsheets: on the beach, in a hot tub, while skydiving, in the shower, on a balcony, on a hard surface, in a moving vehicle, around children, near sharp objects, you get the point…