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Break The Ice



How do you Spreadsheets?


Find out just how long you really last.


Keep a record of your average, peak, and aggregate performance. Let the facts speak for themselves.


Partners burn 150-200 calories for every half-hour of sex.


The average sex session lasts from three to ten minutes.


10 Most Sexually Active Countries & their Durations.

Below is an infographic, yes info + graphic, of  the most active Countries and their duration.

We love visual data.

It’s sexy,

- D.Wax


Growth – Completing Feedback Loops

Feedback loop completion is essential for growth, satisfaction as well as the SCIENTIFIC PROCESS  [ Hypothesis -> Test -> Conclude -> Report ] .  Most intimate sessions end in a loose version of the Conclusion stage “Was it good?.. Yes.” If this loop is broken, new Hypotheses will never have a need to be tested, you’re stuck in a rut.  Complete your scientific process loops and grow!

- Ty.E


Subjective > Logical > Visual

Spreadsheets tracks logical data-points, from subjectively input information, which provides a reliable and logical comparison between sessions.  It then takes these data points (left brain) and creates a visual infographic (right brain) to make a visual representation of that which is inexplicable… ART… that’s a bit generous!

- Ty.E


Growth – Cognitive Seeding

Cognitive Seeding is improvement through recognition… Have you ever wanted a car, so you then see that particular car on the road more frequently – that’s Cognitive Seeding.  Remembering something because you’ve encountered it in a different form or a more recent form, thus increasing frequency and desire.

- D.Wax


Spreadsheets \’spred-,-shēts\ , verb,:=

1. Using technology to track sexual performance
2. The act of sexual intercourse


“Spreadsheets and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you’re not good at
them.” – Kevin Costner (revised)

“Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer Spreadsheets raises
some pretty good questions” – Woody Allen (revised)


What is Spreadsheets?

Spreadsheets is a mobile app that monitors your performance in bed to provide statistical and historical feedback. Find out how many thrusts per minute you’re averaging, how long you go for, and exactly how loud it gets. Keep a record of your encounters, date, time, and performance.

How does it work?

Spreadsheets monitors data from user’s movement and audio levels through the accelerometer and microphone to provide statistical and visual analysis of their performance in bed.

Spreadsheets does not record or playback audio or video. That would be creepy.

Where does my “data” go?

Spreadsheets activity specific data is stored securely on your mobile device. Your information is never relayed, backed up, or synced to the internet.

Can anyone see my data?

Only the people you share it with. Share it with your doctor if you’re trying to get pregnant. Share it with your nutritionist since you’re burning calories. Share it with your friends and let the facts speak for themselves.

How much does it cost?

Less than a condom, unless it’s a free condom. Spreadsheets costs $2.99 or Free for the LITE Version and is available for purchase in the iTunes App Store. If you have to choose between the two, we recommend you splurge on the condom.

How do I get started?

Download the Spreadsheets App and start tapping… or thrusting.  You can also find us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

Why do I have to be 17+?

Let’s be serious, your mom might not appreciate knowing (or not knowing) that you’re having sex. We’re doing you a solid here.

Will my partner be okay with this?

We do not recommend using Spreadsheets without a partner. This is a team effort; your partner will support your commitment to improving sexual activity through performance tracking.

Is Spreadsheets right for me?

Spreadsheets isn’t a major life decision, but should probably be discussed with your partner. If you’re over the age of 25 or at serious risk of heart failure, you should consult a physician before extensive use of the Spreadsheets app.

Will Spreadsheets get me laid?

No, Spreadsheets is not an escort service. It is also not a great pickup line, or maybe it is; in which case you should tell us your success story on our Facebook page or Twitter feed.

Where can I use Spreadsheets?

Spreadsheets can be used: in bed, in the car, on the couch, in your pocket, on a trampoline, in a hammock (both traditional and banana), at the club, at your in-laws, in a tent, the world is your playground… or your science lab.

We do not recommend using Spreadsheets: on the beach, in a hot tub, while skydiving, in the shower, on a balcony, on a hard surface, in a moving vehicle, around children, near sharp objects, you get the point…

Movement & Audio

“What do your Spreadsheets look like?”

See how loud it really gets!

Spreadsheets does not record or playback your session. That would be creepy.

Everyday about 100 million couples around the world have sex. This means around 130,000 couples are having sex right now.


iPhone users are likely to have twice as many sexual partners by the age of 30.



“When was the last time you Spreadsheets?”

Remember that time?..

Catalog, reminisce, and plan your escapades!

On average, couples have sex one to three times a week.

7:45pm is the peak recorded time for sexual encounters.

Calendar - Spreadsheets App. Data. In Bed. in the iTunes App Store


Ardenturous Labs – Santa Monica, CA – W: Ardenturous | E: Danny@ | E: Tyler@


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